Relativity of mental programming: Saying Goodbye to a Loved One Jewish Funeral Customs.

The world is full of confrontations between people, groups, and nations who think, feel, and act differently. At the same time these people, groups and nations are exposed to common problems which demand cooperation for their solution.
Life and deaths are realities of these groups which calls for planning and ceremony despite the fact that one is joyous and the other is sad depending on what culture they are emulate. However a concerning factor is there is a chosen way to live and die.
The following is a brief description of a Jewish burial ceremony which I attended, it also includes accounts of what used to be traditional attainable am not sure if modernization has taken its course on the way the ceremony is been heard now.
The goal of this discussion is to share my cultural sock and the relativity of my mental programming.
Blu Greenberg in her book, How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household (Fireside, 1983) says that just as there is a way to live as a Jew, there is also a "way to die and be buried as a Jew”. Jewish burials take place as quickly as possible, in line with their principle of honoring the dead (k'vod hamet). Burials are postponed for a day only; if immediate relatives cannot arrive in time from abroad or not enough time for burial before the Shabbat or a holiday, anything less is considered a "humiliation of the dead," says Greenberg.
In accordance to Jewish Law, the body of the deceased is washed thoroughly, Men prepare men and women prepare women. They wash the body with warm water from head to foot and; although they may turn the body as necessary to clean it’s entirely, including all it’s orifices, they never place the body face down. However, a person who suffered an injury and blood soaked into his or her clothing, ritual washing is not completed; because the blood of a person is considered as holy as his life and deserves proper burial.
The deceased is buried in a simple pine coffin because coffins, creation or embalming are forbidden by Jewish law (halacha). However, many Reform rabbis will officiate at funerals which involve cremation and embalming, in accordance with the Reform Rabbi Steven Chester.
The deceased is buried wearing a simple white shroud (tachrichim), which is purposely kept simple to avoid distinguishing between rich or poor. Men are buried with their prayer shawls (tallits), which are rendered ineffective by cutting off one of the fringes.
The body is guarded or watched from the moment of death until after burial. This practice, called guarding/watching (shemira), is also based on the principle of honoring the dead. A family member, or someone arranged by the funeral parlor passes the time by reciting psalms (Tehillim) as this person watches over the deceased.
Just before a funeral begins, the immediate relatives of the deceased tear their garments or the rabbi does this to them or hands them torn black ribbons to pin on their clothes to symbolize their loss.
After the burial, it is customary for the family to sit Shiva (in mourning). This was traditionally done for seven days, although many Reform and other Jews now sit Shiva for three days, and some for just a day.
Burials are universal ceremonies though it’s celebrated with some difference in my culture. For me it was culturally puzzling that the deceased is buried in a simple pine coffin, wearing a simple white shroud, and the body is guarded or watched from the moment of death until after the burial. In my culture we almost value the death than the living, death people are brailed in very expensive coffins, and are dressed very elegantly. In most cases the burial ceremony depicts the status and affluences of the family.
At the begin of the ceremony it was quick awaking for me, I felt very lost with all the chanting and recitations going on, I also felt embarrassed because I felt I was over dressed. But as the ceremony progressed; my friend whom I went with explained the various part of the ceremony to me I began to felt more comfortable and even came to appreciate their customs and believe. This new insight made me question the extravagant nature of burial ceremony in my custom, and wishing my people would take some part of the Jewish traditions of simplicity and provide for the death persons family as opposite to trashing every thing in a dead grave.
An important conclusion I draw from my participation in the Jewish burial ceremony is the recognition that I carry particular mental software because of the way I was brought up, and that others brought up in a different environment carry different mental software for equally good reason. Without this awareness, I have traveled around the world feeling superior and remaining deaf and blind to all clues about the relativity of my mental programming.